Elome Counselling
Loretta Ng B.A., M.C.,
Registered Clinical Counsellor
吳陸雅潔
註冊臨床心理輔導員
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Quiet the voice telling you to do more and be more, and trust that in this moment, who you are, where you are at, and what you are doing is enough. You will get to where you need to be in your own time. Until then, breathe. Breathe and be patient with yourself and your process. You are doing the best you can to cope and survive amid your struggles, and that’s all you can ask of yourself. It’s enough. You are enough.
~ Daniell Koepke~
Art:Raising Vibrations
你之所以一直收藏東西，
一直保留著物品，
一直買來囤貨、囤積，
是因為你內心有很深的不安全感，
你害怕「沒有」的感覺，
也害怕一切的「改變」。
牢牢的保留東西，
不停的收集、累積，
其實是幼年時期，
你的身邊，
一直沒有一位穩定存在好好照顧你的人，
能穩住你的不安、能連結你的情感⋯
你只能用盡全力求生，
你無法適應太多的變動，
特別討厭那種「無」的感覺。
深深的不安全感，束縛著你，
使你成為「不安全感」的奴隸，
不停的為它彌補、填滿、充塞⋯
直到這些東西成為一個大型的牢籠，
圍住了你，也隔離了外界。
生存不安全感，
是人深層的恐懼，
你以為能給你安全的，
往往是造成你的牢籠，
把你自己關住，
與你害怕的世界隔離。
如果沒有適度的放手、告別，
如何重整生命？
你無法與自己深度連結，
就只能依附在那些沒有生命的物體上，
以為自己內心是充實的擁有，
其實只是一種失去秩序和品質的填塞，
和情感不安時的依賴和轉移，
卻怎麼也無法使你安穩充實的接住自己。
"One of my college professors used to say, 'Anything worth doing, is worth doing poorly.'
I didn't understand that for years, because I never did anything poorly. I had to Do. Everything. Perfectly.
But brushing your teeth for 30 seconds is better than not brushing, when that 2 minutes seem exhausting. Ten minutes of yoga are better than 10 minutes sitting, when 30 minutes of cardio sound impossible.
Changing my clothes is good when a whole shower is impossible.
Standing for a few minutes on the porch is worth it, after being in the house for three straight days, because I don't have the energy to go anywhere.
Anything worth doing is worth doing poorly, because doing it poorly is better than not doing it."
~ GK Chesterton - “A thing worth doing is worth doing badly.” ~
(Source: bananonbinary, via redheadhatchet)
Artist : Bettina Baldassari
Grief is the reminder that love was present, and that even if it's no longer in its original form, that love still exists.
~ Michelle Maros ~
Artist Credit : Karrie Evenson
Most of my life has been spent trying to shrink myself.
Trying to become smaller. Quieter. Less sensitive. Less opinionated. Less needy. Less me.
Because I didn’t want to be a burden. I didn’t want to be too much or push people away. I wanted people to like me. I wanted to be cared for and valued. I wanted to be wanted.
So for years, I sacrificed myself for the sake of making other people happy. And for years, I suffered.
But I’m tired of suffering, and I’m done shrinking. It’s not my job to change who I am in order to become someone else’s idea of a worthwhile human being.
I am worthwhile. Not because other people think I am, but because I exist, and therefore I matter.
My thoughts matter. My feelings matter. My voice matters. And with or without anyone’s permission or approval, I will continue to be who I am and speak my truth. Even if it makes people angry. Even if it makes them uncomfortable. Even if they choose to leave. I refuse to shrink.
I choose to take up space. I choose to honour my feelings. I choose to give myself permission to get my needs met.
I choose to make self-care a priority.
I choose me.
~Daniell Koepke ~
when someone tells
and shares to you
something about their agony
that has happened many years back then,
do not neglect the opportunity—
because on that day,
they finally had mustered the courage
to say the words long been trapped within their chest,
and you are the trusted one
meant to hear all about it
do not shrug off the chance—
let them cry the words out,
together with their tears,
for it has been a thousand years
that they are carrying such unsaid torments;
and it's killing them from time to time—
they are dying
for every single moment
they remember it
so let them breathe;
listen to their story—
an advice won't be needed, really
know that you are saving one's soul
by just merely listening
because there are people who move forward with life,
but never really left the place and time
where and when they are in great pain
lend an ear,
and let them feel alive again
—Ren Ednalig
Illustration: theunbeknown
Letting Go...
To let go isn’t to forget, not to think about, or ignore.
It doesn’t leave feelings of anger, jealousy, or regret.
Letting go isn’t winning, and it isn’t losing. It’s not about pride, and it’s not about how you appear, and it’s not obsessing or dwelling on the past.
Letting go isn’t blocking memories or thinking sad thoughts, and doesn’t leave emptiness, hurt, or sadness. It’s not giving in or giving up.
Letting go isn’t about loss and it’s not defeat.
To let go is to cherish memories, and overcome and move on. It’s having an open mind and confidence in the future.
Letting go is accepting. It’s learning and experiencing and growing.
To let go is to be thankful for the experiences that made you laugh, made you cry, and made you grow. It’s about all that you have, all that you had, and all that you will soon again.
Letting go is having the courage to accept change, and the strength to keep moving.
Letting go is growing up. It’s realizing that the heart can sometimes be the most potent remedy.
To let go is to open a door, and to clear a path, and to set you free…
Author Unknown
Quiet the voice telling you to do more and be more, and trust that in this moment, who you are, where you are at, and what you are doing is enough. You will get to where you need to be in your own time. Until then, breathe. Breathe and be patient with yourself and your process. You are doing the best you can to cope and survive amid your struggles, and that’s all you can ask of yourself. It’s enough. You are enough.
~ Daniell Koepke
Photography Source: Pinterest
Your work isn’t to change who you are; it’s to find people who are able to give you the connection you need.
Because despite what you feel, you are not too much.
You are not too sensitive or too needy.
You are thoughtful and empathetic.
You are compassionate and kind.
And with or without anyone’s acknowledgment or affection, you are enough ..
~ Daniell Koepke, ~
Artist Credit : Kate Morgan
I hope today..
You stop beating yourself up for whatever is coming at you..
You see your a work in progress,
which means we get where we are going..
Just a little step at a time..
Today..
Just breathe..
If no-one else is telling you..
It's going to be alright..
Just because one person rejects you doesn’t mean you need to reject yourself. Just because some people choose to disregard your worth and treat you without kindness doesn’t mean everyone will, and it certainly doesn’t mean you have to imitate their behavior.
You may not be able to control what other people say or how they act, but you can always choose how you treat yourself. You can choose who you surround yourself with, and who you let go of. And no matter what your circumstances, you can choose to believe in yourself and your worth.
The right people will find their way into your life.
These are the people who will love and accept you wholeheartedly and without conditions.
These are the people who matter.
Let go of the rest.
Just because one person rejects you doesn’t mean you need to reject yourself.
Just because some people choose to disregard your worth and treat you without kindness doesn’t mean everyone will, and it certainly doesn’t mean you have to imitate their behavior.
The truth is that the way other people treat us isn’t about us—it’s about them and their own struggles, insecurities, and limitations. You don’t have to allow their judgement to become your truth.
You may not be able to control what other people say or how they act, but you can always choose how you treat yourself.
You can choose who you surround yourself with, and who you let go of. And no matter what your circumstances, you can choose to believe in yourself and your worth.
Because at the end of the day, trying to please everyone is exhausting and impossible. No matter how you change or who you become, there will always be someone who doesn’t approve.
So instead of wasting your energy in a futile attempt to become someone that other people want you to be, give yourself permission to be exactly who you are. And know that who you are is exactly enough.
The right people will find their way into your life.
These are the people who will love and accept you wholeheartedly and without conditions.
These are the people who matter.
Let go of the rest.
~ Daniell Koepke ~
Artist Credit : Pamela Weedon
“The healers gift is her own wound. It is the source of empathy and true understanding of compassion and forgiving. To heal thyself, embrace your wound as your sacred teacher”
"Everyone has an extra baggage and untold pages. To be kind and to be compassionate are never hard to offer. You may have known some pages of someone else's story but you have never read through every detail of his entire chapter. You may have seen the path someone's taking in but you have never experienced every rough road he encounters. You may have heard that person laughing but you have never felt and knew his pain.
Avoid telling a story out of the dense judgment you have for someone. His story is different from yours—there's no the same, exact, similar shoe that could fit yours and fit everyone else's.
Remember, everyone is struggling, and so are you. Choose to be kind and avoid invalidating someone's struggles just because you see it nothing as compared to yours.
Always choose to be the good and bigger person because you can, you are capable.
You are capable."
Via Jaeka Minervaa
Artwork: YaoYaomavan
"No one has the right to treat you badly just because they're having a bad mood or a bad day. It doesn't justify their behavior.
People should be more open about what's bothering them without hurting the others and without blaming them for reacting to the hurt.
We can't read minds unless we speak up.
We're all toxic in our own ways somehow. We all have bad habits/behaviors to work on.
Words can cause damage and scar us too.
That's why we should be kind. To ourselves and the others."
Rahma Djebbari
Art : ilumitwitter
If someone is falling behind in life, you don’t have to remind them.
Believe me, they already know.
If someone is unhealthy, they know.
If someone is failing at work, they know.
If someone is struggling in their relationships, with money, with self-image… they know.
It’s what consumes their thoughts each day.
What you need to do for those who are struggling is not to reprimand, but encourage.
Tell them what’s good about their lives, show them the potential that you see.
Love them where they are.
When we can’t see clearly for ourselves, we need others to speak greatness over us.
People don’t need you to tell them what’s wrong with their lives, they already know.
They need you to reassure them that they can still make it right.
– Brianna Wiest
I was a welcoming-type of person before—my doors always open to everyone whom I meet, and I would give them my time in a heartbeat once they need a company; until life happened, and it taught me more lessons the hard way I must learnt it. It was a difficult phase to be processed and faced. I've noticed that I had offered much space to people, and too little for my own self to the max that I've felt so small in times of being on my own, 'though I didn't see any reason why I must feel it.
But then, I've realized that the more you are available to others, the less you will have time for yourself; the more I listen to others problems and try to help them—yes, I felt relieved—but somehow, it was just an escape for me to forget about my own troubles and worries in life. I was resolving other's mess, while neglecting what's on my plate. And the more I refuse to face mine, the heavier it got—it wore and burnt me out.
So these days, I am focusing more on myself—prior to showering others the love and care I have for them, I will do it first to my own being. I have cleared some expanse in my life, too, that were once being occupied by agony. I'm done punishing my own being; and now is the right time to start healing.
—Ren Ednalig |
Illustration: 남
"You MUST always take care of yourself first. Remember you can't pour from an empty cup.
When you are drowning, stop; take time to make care for yourself a top priority, and let others know you will connect with them at a later time.
The relationship you have with yourself is the foundation for everything you do in life, so you must give yourself the care you are always giving others.
~ Catie Delaney ~
~ Own It
Own the fact that you are different
Own that you are a deep feeler and thinker
Own that you're tuned into a different frequency
Own the fact that you sense things others don't
Own the fact that you want to talk
about angels, energy, miracles and spirituality
Own that you're done
having meaningless conversations
Own that you're done holding yourself back
Own that you crave freedom to feel the now
It's ok if your family don't get you
It's ok if your friends don't join you
It's ok if the world judges you
It's ok that you want to dance
barefoot upon the earth
and endlessly gaze at the stars
It's ok that you cry over sunsets
and chase moonbeams
It's wonderful in fact. It's beautiful
You have come a long way to be who you are
So own it. Own all of it. Love all of you
The world needs you to be exactly as you are
You hold the balance in this crazy world.
~ Eryka Stanton
art | Lisa Aisato
You don't have to say you're fine if you're not. You don't have to agree if it doesn't feel true to you. You don't have to say yes if your instincts tell you to say no. It's okay to share your authentic thoughts, feelings, and preferences.
內在沒有能力肯定及認同自我的人，
面對外界時，會把每個他遇見、看見的人，
視為照映回自己形象和觀感的鏡子，
事實上是他內心排斥和厭惡自己。
他會從那些被他視為鏡子的人身上，
特別是表情和行為上，
照映回來自己是一個多麼的
讓人討厭、讓人排斥和否定的人。
一個不接納自己、不喜愛自己的人，
眼睛看出去的世界，看出去的別人，
都彷彿在告訴他：
你很不好、很不對、很糟糕、有問題。
然而，其實那是他內在的聲音，
對自己的嚴酷批判和排斥，
若沒有自我覺察，
那幾乎時時刻刻都易淪陷在人際焦慮和痛苦的情緒中。
Take a moment to offer gratitude to the very heart of you. Giving thanks to your flesh and bones, your spirit and your soul for carrying you, for holding you through everything you have met so far.
~ Brigit Anna McNeill
Artwork by Catrin Welz-Stein
Healing is more about accepting the pain and finding a way to peacefully co-exist with it. In the sea of life, pain is a tide that will ebb and weave, continually.
We need to learn how to let it wash over us, without drowning in it. Our life doesn't have to end where the pain begins, but rather, it is where we start to mend ..
~ Jaeda DeWalt ~
Artist Credit : Mike Nemnich
There's a special place in my heart for those who...
keep their word and listen unconditionally.
show up on time or call if they will be late.
extend care, kindness and compassion.
speak their truth and walk their talk.
aren't afraid to share their feelings.
apologize when they make a mistake.
value differences, honor another's lifestyle and path.
say I Love You, Please, Thank You and I'm Proud of You.
* Jody Doty
"I think it’s brave.
I think it’s brave that you get up in the morning even if your soul is weary and your bones ache for a rest.
I think it’s brave that you keep on living
even if you don’t know how to anymore.
I think it’s brave that you push away the waves rolling in every day and you decide to fight.
I know there are days when you feel like giving up but i think it’s brave that you never do. Yea I think it's brave."
Lana Rafael
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..one of the most loving things we can do for another human being is give them space to be imperfect..
Let's be gentle with ourselves.
Let's acknowledge we're doing the best we can,
and be patient with ourselves, too.
Let's trust that we're learning deep lessons and consciously or subconsciously growing
all the time.
Let's make time for fun, because fun
eases things in important ways.
Let's remember we're all struggling,
and treat each other with kindness and compassion.
Let's return to love always
and with everything we've got,
knowing love will take us exactly
where we need to be.
And while we're doing it all,
because it's not always easy to do,
let's be gentle with ourselves.
I love you.
Luzette
"Words matter. Three parenting tips to remember about our words:
1. Let your children overhear you saying nice things about them
2. Remember that your words become their internal voice. Be kind.
3. Talk nicely about others. When we point out the good in others, it becomes easier to see the good in others."
Cry next to a Child...
She won't slap you or yell at you to be quiet, she'll probably hold you up, hug you and offer you her favorite toy.
We have a lot to learn from children!
Don’t forget to love the way you want to be loved,
Listen the way you want to be heard,
Speak the way you want to be spoken to,
Give the way you hope others will give,
Care the way you want others to care,
because change doesn’t start with them,
it starts with YOU..
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